You Otter Know Better. Written and © By Andrew Smith REquested by Thrashwolf "I don't care what you think. You're not the boss of me, Greg. I've been waiting to go on this camping trip for months, and just because you say that there are bears in the area, I shouldn't even think of going into the woods," said Josh. "Look, I know that you're not going to listen to me and probably never will either, but please at least take some procaution when you go. Bring some bear spray or make a noise can to scare away the bears. Remember last time when you forgot the bug spray? You almost died from West Nile AND Malaria. I still don't know how you recovered from that." "Well I guess I got lucky is all." "Yea, lucky you didn't die." "Fine, if it will make you shut up and leave me alone, I'll make a noise can. But you're buying me the Bear Spray." "Deal. I know this place downtown that can sell it to me at a discount. I'm friends with the owner." "Like I care. Just get me the damn spray." With that Josh walked away from Greg. The two had been sitting in the park all day long. Not really doing anything, just talking, joking and walking. Josh was a short tempered 24 year old college student. He went to state and was on the football team before he quit. He stayed in the dorms there and was frequently seen in the gym, or at the bar. He was very well built, he wore contact lenses to change his eye colour from brown to blue. Greg and Josh had been best friends since they were kids, though it was hard to tell at times. Josh took the bus back to the campus and got off at the bar. He wasn't a heavy drinker, but right now he could really go for a rum and vodka mix. He knew it tasted awful, but he really needed something to calm him down. He didn't have the money for drugs, so alcohol was a happy second. As Josh walked into the bar, he was immedatly over powered by the strong, relentless smell of stale cigarette air. He was usualy able to ignore it, but today it was really bad. The football team must have won their game against their rival, the Otters. Sure enough when Josh sat down, there were twenty-four big, burly, drunken jocks celebrating loudly in the back of the bar. Each one of them holding a frosty pint glass above their head as they hollered out the school cheer. Josh just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible. He really wasn't in the mood to listen to the drunken caterwalling of the football team. Sadly, one of them managed to find 'We are the Champions' on the jukebox. One of the few songs Josh really hated. Josh finally sat down at the bar and ordered his drink. He was just about to drink it down in one quick swig when he felt something hard hit him in the back of the head. It hit him with so much force, that not only did he spill his drink all over himself, but it knocked out a contact lense. Leaving him with one brown eye and one blue eye. As Josh looked up, he saw the football that had hit him, it was spinning around in a puddle of his rum and vodka mix. There was a tremendous laughter comming from the back of the bar where the team had seen this hit and thought it was the funniest thing since Buster Keaton. Getting up, Josh picked up the football and threw it with a perfect spiral right into the jukebox, killing the music and the laughter instantly. Josh had once been the star quarterback on the school's team, but one day he came to practice really sick. He had been out drinking with the rest of the team, and when he got tackled, he passed out and was rushed to the hospital. The guys never forgot that. Day after day they would make fun of him relentlessly until eventualy Josh quit the team. "Can't you drunken neanderthals think of something better to do than sing like tone deaf drag queens at an Elton John concert?" Mistake number one. Josh was a smart man, but when he lost his temper, like he frequently did, he tended to say some really stupid things that landed him in a whole lot of trouble. And this was no exception to the rule. This got their attention, and attention was something that Josh tried to avoid. "Well well, if it ishn't Josh. How... howsh the Baby doing?" "Hello Frank, or should I say Francis?" Mistake number two. "You don't seem to learn, I've lost track of how many times we've beaten you up," stammered Frank, barely coherent after all the beer he had drunk. "You never were too good at math. Knowing you, you had to pull down your pants just to count to twenty-one." Mistake number three. "That's saying a lot comming from you, Dog Boy. Hey everybody look at Baby, he's got one blue eye, and one brown eye." "Funny. I was thinking the same thing about you, you know your mom being a real hound. How many cars has she chased lately? Or better yet, is she still howling at the moon?" This was mistake number four. One that even Josh knew was one too many. Because now he had a drunken defencive tackle charging his way. It was like looking down at an angry Rhino. Josh barely had enough time to get out of the way, and thusly payed the price with a three-hundred pound body slam right into the wall. Josh was just about to get the tar kicked out of him when Barry, Frank's roommate stopped him. "Wait Frank, I've got a better idea that killing Josh right here. Why don't we get him to do something for us?" "It had better be good. I'm about ten seconds away from ripping out his spleen." "First of all I'm surprised you even know what a spleen is. And second, you remember the hit we had planned against the Otters? You know the special one?" "You mean?" "Yep, I mean stealing their mascot, Ol' River Rat himself" "Oooo... And if he doesn't, then do I bet him up?" "By all means" "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this. You hear that, Dog Boy? Your going to get the River Rat for us, and if you don't..." Frank didn't even finish his scentence, instead he reached over and took an empty beer bottle in his hand, and crushed it like a paper cup. Pushing Frank away, Josh's face was red with fury. "Fine, I'll do this job for you, but if I do it, you have to agree never to bother me again. Got it?!" "Yea fine, Dog Boy. But you've got to do it tonight at their homecoming." "Are you nuts?! River Rat will be guarded tighter than Fort Knox. It'll be impossible." "I don't care how you do it. Just get that damn otter." Josh stormed out form the bar and walked over to his room. Stepping inside he sat at his computer and went to the other school's website, where he then printed out a map of the campus inside and out. It had everything from all the rooms, the library, everything except for where they kept River Rat, but he had a good idea where they would keep him. Searching the map he found just what he was looking for. "Ok, I have an idea of where he might be kept, but I still don't know how to get him, let alone know how to get him out of the school without anybody seeing me. But I think I've got a plan," Josh thought to himself. Two hours later Josh picked up the phone and called Greg "Hey Greg, have you got that Bear Spray yet? Darn, well I need you to get me some right now, before the store closes. No, I'm going camping tonight, but I still need it. I can't tell you why. Just get it. Thanks. Meet me at the park where we were earlier today. I'm giving you an hour, that should be plenty of time." Josh took the map with him and placed it into his pocket, he stepped outside and went down the hall. Exiting the side exit, he went to the bus stop and caught the bus to the park. While he was waiting, it started to rain. Greg showed up roughly an hour after Josh got there and gave him the small can of Bear Spray. "I thought it would be bigger." "Thats big enough. Just be careful with it, that stuff really burns, so hold it away from yourself when you use it." "Yea yea, I know. I'm not a total moron. Just hold it away from my face and spray. It's not rocket science. Now I need one more thing from you." "What is it?" "I need to borrow your car." "What? No way. I'm not giving you my car." "Please, I need it just for tonight. I promise to bring it back." "What do you need it for, or is it like the bear spray, you can't tell me?" "Look, it's not that I can't say, it's that I don't want to say it and get you in trouble." "Your not going to do something illegal are you?" "Are you going to give me the car or not?" Greg sighed. "Fine. But only because your my best friend. Just be sure to bring it back by tomorrow. Oh, and give me a ride home. I don't have enough for the bus." Josh drove Greg home without speaking a word of what he was planning to him. Greg said goodbye, but Josh just drove away. Every time he passed a police car his heart would race. He would become very nervous and angry at himself for getting himself into such a predicament. It took Josh under an hour to get from Greg's apartment to the other school. It was now almost 8pm. The homecoming would start in less than an hour. Josh parked the car then got out. As he got out he looked down at the map as the rain picked up. Making his way inside, Josh saw the security cameras. If they were anything like the ones in his school, they were there for show. That's when Josh saw the one thing that would make this plan go off even easier. ahead was a student alone wearing the school's logo on a sweater. Walking up to the student he asked him the time, when he looked down at his watch, Josh landed a hard right to his chin, knocking him out instantly. Looking around Josh checked to see that nobody further down the hallway saw this. Feeling that the coast was clear, Josh dragged the student into a washroom and took his sweater, leaving him in a stall he locked it and crawled under the door. Now as far as anybody was concered, he was just another student at the school. Looking down at the map again, Josh found the flight of stairs that he wanted, and he went down the two floors to the basement/gym. Looking around he slowly walked from door to door, searching for the equipment room. As luck would have it, it was right next to the stadium entrance. Taking a deep breath Josh knocked on the door, turning the knob to find it locked. A voice from inside told him to hold on and he heard locks being undone. "What do you want?" asked another student looking through the small opening. "I want to see the River Rat." "That's Mister River Rat to you," said the student with a snoobish, stuck up look, "and no. You can't see him. I'm just about to take him into the stadium for homecoming." "Then why don't you just bring him out through this door to get into the stadium?" "Geez, how dumb are you? I'm the guy who brings him out on a leash with the cheerleaders on the otherside. Look I haven't time to deal with a 'tard like you. Beat it." Josh took another deep breath and shot his fist forward, he had had enough of this creep. Grabbing his collar Josh flicked off the cap to the spray and let him have a shot to the eyes. The jerk yelled and screamed loudly, dropping to the floor covering his eyes, he rolled about in lots of pain. "Holy shit, this stuff really works." Josh quickly took the leash that was hanging on the back of the door and clipped it to River Rat's collar, surprised that he didn't put up much of a struggle. Josh could hear all the students inside the stadium cheering. He figured that he had arrived just after the other guards, who were most likely football players, left to enter the stadium with the rest of the team. And that is probably why the crown was cheering. So then he knew he didn't have much time to get back up to the main hallway and into Greg's car before the cheerleaders wondered where the creep was with River Rat. He wouldn't need the map this time. He knew his way back up the two floors then down the hall, past the bathroom where he dumped the student from before. As he got to Greg's car, he put River Rat into the back seat and the sweater he stole in the dumpster. Getting back into the driver's seat he started the car and sped away, driving further and further from the school. As he drove he didn't see any police cars as he drove back to his school. Josh smiled to himself at just how easy this was. Half an hour later he was knocking on Frank's door with River Rat in his hands. "It took some doing, but here he is. I got you River Rat." "Shhh... not so loud. Oh, I've got a splitting headache. Barry, pass those pain killers." "Dude, we're all out. You took the last three. Oh, it's Dog Boy, what have you got there?" "I brought you the Otter's mascot River Rat, like you asked." "Jesus! What the hell are you doing with that here?!" "You forced me to get him for you." "We were drunk! Your not suposed to take a drunk serious, especialy Frank. Dude, you have any idea how much trouble we're going to get in with that here?" "So you want me to take it back?" "Dude, are you nuts? Dump it somewhere. Just get it away from the school." "Where?" "I don't know, the forest, that's where they're from right?" "Fine, I'll just get rid of him at the forest close to the park." "I don't care, just get rid of it!" said Barry slamming the door in Josh's face. "Hehe, way to go Barry, make Josh think we didn't want River Rat. Let him panic." Outside the door, while Frank and Barry were laughing it up, River Rat jumped out from Josh's arms and scampered down the hall, running much faster than Josh expected. "Hey, come back here!" Josh chased after the otter as it ran down the hall, looking ahead to see somebody walking in from outside. "Don't let that otter get outside!" The person looked up to Josh not really understanding what was being asked of him, until he saw River Rat scurry between his legs and out the door. "Thanks for your help." Josh could still see River Rat running along the courtyard that was the center of the campus apartment complex. His leash was still dangling around behind him. The rain still fell all around them, making the grass very wet, muddy and slippery. Looking up ahead, he saw what River Rat was running to, the large stream between the student parking lots. Josh really started to lay on the speed, he started running like he were still on the football team. Ever so slowly he was catching up to River Rat. One by one, the buildings came and went, and Josh knew that it was now or never. Josh knew he was within reach of catching the otter, and with one desperate attempt he lept forward to catch the leash, but he missed and by the time he got up, River Rat was sliding down the muddy slope into the creek away to freedom. Josh shouted out loudly as he saw his last chance splash into the water and swim away, still wearing his leash and uniform. Walking over to the bank, he looked down at the running water and how the stars glimmered onto it's surface. Taking a deep breath, Josh clentched his fists and let out a mighty cry out towards the heavens. "DAMN YOU!!! DAMN Y-" At that moment, Josh felt a lump forming in his throat. He tried to clear it away with a deep grunt, but it only seemed to make it worse. Placing a hand against his throat, he could feel his airway contracting. Gasping for breath, he started to feel a new burst of pain. This one began at the small of his back, just above his rear. Reaching behind, he felt a small lump forming. As he felt it, it started to grow, it was becoming larger. Twisting his spine, Josh struggled to look at what was giving him so much pain back there. What he saw literally made his skin crawl. A tail. He was growing a tail. As for the crawling skin, that was the fur as it struggled to break its way free from his pores. One by one they grew out from his body. Long brown furs, not all of them the same colour. Some, the ones growing along his chest and stomach, were a lighter shade of brown. Removing his shirt, Josh looked down and saw all the fur growing on his body. He tried once again to cry out but only managed to make a deep chittering sound. He was able to breathe again, but not to speak. The tail kept on growing becoming thicker and furrier, like his body. He reached down to remove his pants, but felt that they were already slipping down. Josh thought that with the fur on his body his pants would be getting tighter, so why were they falling? He was shrinking, Josh looked all around to see the trees around him slowly getting higher. Looking back down to the ground, he saw his hands were misshapen. They looked different to him, his fingers were all stubby and his fingernails were buldging as something grew underneith them. He could barely see something small and black pressing up from them, that's when it seemed to break through, causing his fingernails to fall away to the ground, short black claws emerged from his continuously shrinking fingers. Rolling his hands over, he saw the pads slowly forming on his finger tips and in the center of his palm. A fine webbing was spreading up his fingers to where his claws had emerged from his fingers. It was very stretchy and gave him the ability to move his fingers all around, but he was still shrinking, as were his hands. More and more they became smaller, greatly taking on the shape of paws. As he felt his boxers slipping down his body, he didn't really feel cold, the fur was doing a good job of keeping him warm, even as the rain fell onto his body. The smooth, brown fur had spread over his body, replacing all traces of body hair. He felt his vision changing. Somehow he just seemed to know he was becoming an otter. The gods were proving their existance to him, but in a very vengeful way. Feeling his balance shift, Josh began to fall forward onto his new paws and knees. His body continued to shrink, but looking back along his body, he saw his torso stretching. He He never even felt them changing, but they had completely undergone a metamorphosis. He would have to get used to walking on all fours from now on. His legs were becoming shorter, his knees raised up from the ground as his rear paws planted themselves down firmly. Looking down at his nose, he saw and felt it pressing away from his face. It was becoming a muzzle. He could tell his ears had shrunk, becoming smaller and rounder, finding a new position on his head. Looking down towards the tip of his muzzle, he saw the last traces of his humanity becoming smaller and black. His nose was the very last thing of his body to become that of a river otter. Placing his tongue against his teeth he felt that they had become very different sharper and more spread out he felt he could tear into a fish quite easily. The moment he thought of fish he realized that his memories were fading away, he let out a cry and was happy to hear he could speak again, but to the human world it was just meaningless chittering. As the seconds passed Josh continued to lose memories of his human existence but still remembered many things, from a car, to a Haiku. But as to how to drive a car, or write a haiku with a pencil... those were gone. As far as he was now concerned, he was just an otter. A calm, fun-loving river otter named Josh. He would never remember Greg, or the way the football team made fun of him, but he did remember River Rat, it was something he could smell. Looking down the muddy bank, Josh smiled as best an otter could and slid down into the water. "Wheee this is fun!" said Josh. "Yea, I know. I was kept in a cage most of my life and never really had a chance to enjoy life like this since then." Josh looked all around trying to see who had said that, that's when he saw the other otter bob his head up from the water. "Oh, hello there. Do you want to play?" "Sure, I would love to play, but would you please remove these things from my body? The human's put them on me, they feel heavy and this leash is choking me." "Sure, I'll give it a try." Josh swam over to River Rat and started to chew on the leather collar around his neck, after about five minutes it finally broke free and drifted down stream. Lastly, Josh swam down behind River Rat and bit down onto the bottom of the uniform around his body. Swimming up, he begun to pull it away from his body until he finally managed to pull it off over his head. "There you go, human free." "Thanks alot. Whats your name?" "My name is Josh, whats yours?" "The humans called me River Rat, but I remember my mother used to call me Flat Stone." "Well it's nice to meet you Flat Dtone. Let's go explore the creek and play some games." "Sure, I've never been here before, this should be fun." "Hey Flat Stone, guess what!" "What is it?" Josh swam over towards Flat Stone's head and lightly flicked his tail against his side. "You're it!" And with that the two new friends swam away down the creek where they would have many adventures together.